Happy to be Back

It's been more than  year since my last blog. And Google has been kindly reminding me of my lack of attempt, threatening to delete this space of mine if I still choose to leave it idle.

Re-reading some of my entries tonight, I realise that I do miss blogging. Not a hardcore blogger, but it's like journaling for me. Some day I will read all these entries once more, or even have my children read them, and mentally join me in my chronicles :)

The past year has been most eventful, the most important one being pregnant (I'm now 34 weeks). Knowing you have a responsibility far greater than yourself growing inside you is one of the most amazing things in the world. God has been really kind to me, in that I have not had any morning sickness, nor crazy cravings throughout the entire pregnancy. I have a regular appetite (or at least I think so, haha) but have yet put on quite a lot of weight. One who used to be afraid of weight gain, I guess I've now learnt to put that aside and to focus on the health of my baby first. That's the first step of learning to be a good mom, innit?

Well, I will dedicate another entry to my pregnancy some time soon, and will have it accompanied with photos of my bump.

Till then, take care ya'all!

The Atelophobic

Today my friend made a passing comment that I was a perfectionist.

Sounds good, doesn't it? I mean, after all, if you read the key word amongst that jumble of letters, it means I'm flawless! But somehow I sensed a tinge of distaste in how she said it, and immediately clarified what she meant, as eager as a 4-year-old.

My kind and reliable friend then explained to me, that she loved that I always put my best into whatever I did, giving my 110%. But there comes a point when that 110% is more than I am made up of, and along the way, draws so much energy out of me, that I become dispirited.

I pondered...


... and pondered...


... and pondered...


and finally agreed with her.

As they always say, whichever mountain you scale, there's bound to be one that's higher. In life, it's all about giving our best. However, there's really no point pushing ourselves too hard that we lose sight of what we've gained along the way.

Tomorrow is a new day, and a new 100%.



p/s: Atelophobic = Fear of Imperfection



 

It's a Dot Com, Baby!

It’s been a long while of absence. No I have not been abducted by hot-looking aliens (is there even such a thing? I mean the hot-looking part, not the latter…), neither have I struck 4D and whisked myself off to some obscure but beautiful island.

I’ve mentioned previously that my friend, May and I have been working on a teensy project, so we’ve both been spending the last month working hard, tying up (lots and lots of) loose ends. We’re still trying to sort out certain issues, but all in all, we’re ready to rumble.

We soft launched our little baby on 6 June 2011.

Click here if you'd like to check us out

The response has been encouraging, but we know we definitely need to put in way more effort than now, flooring our clutches all the way. There’s no time for free gear, if you asked me, but we’re all ready for it. Passion takes you to places that you never think you’d go.

Wish me luck! ♥

D.R.E.A.M.

May and I have been working really hard on this little project that is still under wraps at the moment. And I can only pray and beg that things will turn out alright.

You know sometimes the world looks at you and think that there's nothing much you can achieve? Or they think that even if you set your heart to some things, you just aren't made for success? Well, I've been feeling this way recently, with some of the people closest to me making me feel that dreams are not meant for people of my caliber.

I've never ever denied the need to work hard, be it when I was in school or during my working years. I tried to give my best in everything, wishing that one day I could shut those verbal attackers from  school up. I wasn't the most popular kid out there, nor was I prom queen material, but I was driven, I was focused, I was disciplined, and I managed to hit higher than where I aimed -- the clouds. That was when I was still studying.

Just 10 years down the road, I'm barely a somebody, and with the same set of drive, focus and discipline, I'm just hoping that it would take me somewhere. Maybe this mindset is expired, neither does it apply to people looming around 30, but I'm still pretty set on taking myself some place, having it all -- being a good wife, a good mom, and having a career that motivates me.

Someday, just someday, I want to be the living example to my children: 

'As a means to success, determination has this advantage over talent - that it does not have to be recognized by others.'  ~ Robert Brault

No Greater Love

A very good friend of mine prepared this video for me 3 years ago, it was a very meaningful birthday blessing.

Since today's Good Friday, I've decided to share this with you. This beautiful song is by Rachel Lampa, and it tells of how Jesus gave His life to cover all of our sins.

I've been helping my father-in-law with video editing of the show The Passion of the Christ for the past week, and it's had me rewatching the whole movie several times. Till this day, I cannot bear to watch Jesus get nailed in the hands and feet (each time that happens I hide behind the pillow). The amount of torture that He had to go through for all of us... the flagellation, the crown of thorns, the mocking and most of all, the crucifixion. Are we really worthy?

BKK

It's just another 14 hours before I depart for the land of Thab Thim Krobs and Pad Thais... *yums*

One of my faithful readers has suggested that I could afford to enlarge my fonts a little, so Khoay Ling, here it is! :)

Will try to take lots and lots of interesting (or hopefully artistic) photos to share with you. Till then, have a great weekend!

Being Inspired When You Least Expect It

My futsal shoes needed fixing yesterday. Making a quick dive out during my late lunch, I drove along Jalan Ipoh trying to look for a cobbler and was thankful as it didn't take me long to find one right outside one of the many wedding gown shops in the area.

Securing a parking spot right in front of the stall, I took the shoes to the Pakcik at the stall, who looked no younger than 60 years old. The usual show of shoe and explanation occurred, and Pakcik said that he'd be closing at about 3:00pm. It was then 2:20pm. Needing the shoes that same night for my regular Monday game, I decided to wait. Pakcik told me to sit down in the brown plastic chair right next to him, and we sort of started a casual conversation.

I asked him what his business hours were like, and he told me that he usually operated from 8:30am to 3:00pm. Figuring that he probably had other obligations after 3, such as picking up grandchildren etc, I further clarified if the case was such. He then explained that usually after 3, the sun starts shining into the corridor, and it usually gets too scorching and hot for him to bear. Watching him struggle a little with the sewing of my soles, I was overcome with sympathy, recalling that Pakcik was sitting there doing nothing, merely waiting for customers before my arrival. The six pairs of shoes that he had at his stall were all fixed and ready to be picked up.

This Pakcik had a very kind smile. As he worked, he also told me that he used to stay in the shop lot above the wedding gown one, but recently moved to Chow Kit area. I inquired as to why he had to have his stall all the way at Jalan Ipoh and he said that competition was great in Chow Kit. I was curious as to how he got to work daily, and he explained that he took a public bus. He did not need to lug his tools around daily, as he leaves them by the stairway leading up to his old residence.

Sitting around for the next 15 minutes, I thought about how difficult life must be for Pakcik to make a living. Each day, he would just sit there waiting in the hopes that someone's shoe requires fixing. On days of crazy weather (like how it's been recently), he might just not be able to keep his services available. As I watched Pakcik work, I realized how blessed I was, and how I had life so easy. Sure enough, I was far from being a billionaire, but I was blessed with a proper education, a good family and a comfortably challenging career path. Despite all the uncertainty that Pakcik deals with daily, you could tell from his smile that Pakcik was contented, and his sincere smile said it all.

As he finished up, I paid Pakcik and told him to keep the change. Happily receiving the money, I again saw the same glimmer of hope that I noticed when he first received me to his stall. As the saying goes, 

"Life lies not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well." - Josh Billings 

And this day, Pakcik showed me just that.

 

Shaken by the Ground that Shook

I know it's cliched to have an entry on one of the hottest topics around the world at the moment -- the Japan earthquake, but reading up on it has left me tear-filled. Well honestly my chords weren't tugged as hard yesterday, but as I woke up to the aftermath of it today, to see how Japan has been torn apart, and picturing how so many lives have been broken, it shattered me. 

It all happened when my brother sent me an SMS saying that an earthquake had just struck north of Japan, and that he was unable to reach my sister-in-law, Connie, who had left for Tokyo on the 10th. Worried sick, he tried to call her again and again, and also contacted her colleagues here to see if they were able to get hold of any of their Japanese counterparts. I tried reassuring him that after a disaster of such scale, phone lines would usually be affected. Sure enough, about half an hour later, he SMS-ed me back to tell me that Connie was ok. THANK GOD.

As family and friends of mine follow up on this catastrophe, one that's labeled the fifth-largest earthquake in the world since 1900 and was nearly 8,000 times stronger than the one that devastated Christchurch, New Zealand, last month, it really isn't hard to imagine how scary and painful it is for any of the victims who is going through this first hand. We just have to magnify that imagination by like a million folds. I keep telling J that the thought of being caught under a rubble, without having any water, food nor company is simply depressing. Or how about those whose houses were uprooted by the Tsunami, leaving them with no home, and a majority of them with few or no family members left? The thought is just so painful, isn't it? Now with the explosion of the nuclear reactors at Fukushima, it can only get tougher.

Connie is still stranded in Tokyo. The situation there is under control, but since flights are still cancelled, and the airports closed, she can only depart early Monday morning (hopefully with no further changes). This incident has left her a little shaken too, as it is her first time experiencing an earthquake, what's more it being one of the worst. But my dear sister is a toughie, all she's hoping for now is that she comes home soon, and that McDonald's reopens ASAP :)

I really pray that by the grace of our dear Lord, the sufferings of our Japanese friends will be minimized, and that through this, the world is able to see the light behind nations joining hands. So what if you have the world's most powerful firearms or nuclear plants? That may be able to win us mortal wars, but it certainly will not put us in God's mercy books.

God bless Japan.

My BFZ is Back!

I think it's been almost a year since I last saw her... the brilliant girl who excels in every.single.thing that she does.

No kidding.

Ok, so maybe not sports nor her sense of direction, but I think God definitely spent like forever and a day on her brains, because this girl is a super genius! Every exam she sits for, she aces it. This hot doctor's a specialist in the making. Upon completion of her housemanship, she recently went for a whole bunch of exams and interviews to try her luck in various specialty right before her visit back. And surprise surprise (not!), she was selected for all of them!

I think what might have been more shocking was that she was chosen for all but one. That would have been life's greatest mystery. Well anyway I was at her place when she got the notification SMS, and yes, I was definitely proud of my dear ole BFZ. I mean, who wouldn't? She's always been the straight A student, but never just a nerd. She parties, she flirts (yes you do my dear so admit it!), she drinks and she dresses.. what is there not to like in a friend like that? Even her Greek beau, Dimitri, was utterly impressed, and I'm not the least bit surprised.

So, after such a long long time, we did a little bit of catching up. Chatting and getting to know the man in her life, and her getting to know mine (well she already knows a lot about mine but there can never be too many "updates", can there?). I playfully teased her about not being able to attend my wedding, and could tell how bad she felt (she had to start her new attachment in a new hospital then).

Well, all that said, I hope that we'll be able to spend a lot more time together before she goes back to London.

Great friendships are hard to find. This is definitely one of them.

Our VERY MUCH younger days

We're Going Home!

I’ve been getting the shake up lately, by some friends who complain that I don’t update my blog often enough. Well it’s not exactly my fault, is it? YOU are supposed to make my life more interesting so that I have more to write about! Hahaha… Kidding! You guys are great! :)

Anyway, fret not, you can now do that more often coz J and I are moving back to KL for good! Due to some changes in business direction, they are moving part of the business back to Peninsular, and with a little bit more of heavy travelling to and fro the east and west of Malaysia, I will just stay put in KL while catching glimpses of my husband over the weekends.

Not one to favour long distance relationships, I guess I don’t have much of a choice, considering I seem to have been thrown at it time and time again. Oh well, to look on the bright side, that means I’ll have more time for my family, friends and hopefully, a new career start up.

With that, it’s time to put on my thinking cap, to plan ahead and decide what I need to do next. Then again, spontaneity seems to have been smacking me in the face since forever. Till it decides to go for a holiday, I’ll just have to pluck up my guts and learn to go with the flow.

The V-day Entry

Heart shaped chocolates, red roses, candle-lit dinners...... seem pretty rare in T-eeny town.

Returned here early this morning. J went for his final CNY money-throw session (or at least to me they are... haha!) last night, and that sort of kept me awake. What's more, the first flight out to T-eeny town this morning further robbed me of my beauty sleep as we had to get up at about 4:45 am to get to the airport.

I've always believed in celebrating Valentine's Day, or at least acknowledged it, until I started dating a guy who didn't. Till this day he stands by the school of thought that V-day was marketed and commercialised so that people could make money out of it, and that if every day was spent lovingly, every day can be Valentine's day. Haha, I think I've been too gullible, because he's been off the hook despite that in the past 5 years!

Well, to be fair, J takes me out for nice dinners round the year, and he buys me things that I like from time to time, so to make him spend any extra on a day like that would be pretty unreasonable of me :) Thing is, it's always nice to receive sweet gestures here and there like a card, a cooked meal etc.

This year, J probably felt a little bad that he's been depriving me of this little romance for years, hence he's wished me those 3 little words at least 3 times today. He also told me to pick a place for dinner, anywhere that I liked, and I settled for crabs in the end. Hahaha... at first he was like, "Wow, romantic choice... I'll get the seafood restaurant people to light candles at our table ok?" Yeah right. That place is so bright from all the fluorescent lights that you probably need to start a fire before it gets noticed :) Well, at least he tried to leave his Beng ways behind and attempted to be romantic! :)

After a good dinner, we went to do some grocery shopping together.

It's been a simple night, but I'm happy. We're now both at our own laptops, one's happily "bitching" about the other, and the other's happily blasting someone else's allies on Starcraft.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone :)

Ang Pau-rina Greets!

Gong Xi Gong Xi!

Very quickly, the rabbit year has taken its place again after a 12-year cycle. Just as how the little creature is timid, the new year has been pretty gentle on me so far. This year’s celebration has been different but adaptable :)

My first year as Ang Pau-rina (the Chinese Santarina), I’ve been giving out a decent amount of Ang Paus. Still not too used to it, it’s hard to keep track of who might have received, how many packets to bring along with me each time, who’s married and who’s not etc. You know occasionally you come across people who are that much older than you, but are not yet married? Haha, those moments make me feel quite “old”.

CNY eve dinner was spent at home with my in-laws. We did some simple cooking but man, there was so, so, so much food for just us 8 adults. The 10-seater dining table was filled from front to end! I know I shouldn’t be complaining about the abundance of food. Afterall, being well-fed is definitely a blessing :)

New Year’s morning saw us going to church first thing in the morning. J had to interpret in church, so pretty much everyone was well dressed and ready to usher in the new year. The afternoon was quiet, with many of my in-laws’ church visitors over. We did a little bit of socializing (show face, we call it, hehe), then adjourned upstairs. Later in the afternoon, J decided to take me for a massage. Yeah odd I know, to go for a massage on the first day of CNY, but hey, giving out Ang Paus can be quite tiring! :)

After another round of home cooked dinner, we went over to Joe’s for a session. The boys as usual did it the hard core way, but few of us girls put our hands on a few rounds of Gin Rummy. Haha, remember how I said that the rabbit year has been pretty gentle on me? Well, I made RM30 from it! I know, I know, RM30 to most of you must be a laughable amount, but a rare gambler, that’s already a blessing! J also has been pretty blessed so far, up in his games of Black Jack and Poker. But I hope that he has taken his forewarnings seriously, it better be just for CNY fun-sake! Well at least he has made enough to cover some of our new year costs, firecrackers/fireworks and all, haha.

On the second day of CNY, relatives and some of our friends came over to visit. This time it wasn’t just show-face, I did the full-on entertaining bit! Fun, but tiring, I was pooped by the end of the night.

Third day was rather impromptu, but because of some changes in plans, I managed to visit my brother and my parents. Nice afternoon spent with Ollie and back home for a little bit. Never thought that we’d go clubbing during CNY too, but we did! Zouk was pretty full for such an occasion, but not as packed as usual.

Finally on Day 4, went home for CNY dinner with the Kwoks. Have been missing Mom’s cooking for the longest time and was really glad to finally taste it. After dinner, we met up with some friends at Bangsar, then headed home in preparation for work today.

CNY’s gonna take a back seat for J and I. Heading off to Maldives tonight. Fill you in when I get back ok? Who knows, there might be some dong dong chiangs and lions dancing amidst that clear blue sea. Have fun everyone! :) 

Temporary Home

Came across this song recently and thought of sharing it here with you guys. I first heard it when it was sung by one of the American Idol 10 participants, and subsequently chanced upon it again on the radio.

Basically, the song tells of three very different characters -- one of a young foster child who’s sent from home to home, another of a single young mom who’s struggling to bring up her child, and the last of an old man going through his last days in a hospital bed. All three scenarios tell of how life is just but a temporary trial, and that life on earth is just a through road to get to where our real home is. Delivered with so much true emotion, I think Carrie Underwood did a brilliant job.

As a Christian, I’m often told that life on earth is just a passing experience in preparation for our life in heaven. Then again, if heaven was really perfect, is there really such a need for us to be trialled and trained in preparation for it? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I am in doubt of my faith, but as a young Christian, I do still have my questions about Christ. Will look this up and speak to more mature Christians and share this some time. Meanwhile, do enjoy this song. I’ve also included the lyrics for your reference. I think Carrie totally nailed it, vocal, emotions and all.

Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood

Little boy, 6 years old
A little too used to bein' alone.
Another new mom and dad, another school,
Another house that'll never be home.
When people ask him how he likes this place...
He looks up and says, with a smile upon his face,

"This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong.
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through.
This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going.
I'm not afraid because I know this is my
Temporary Home."

Young mom on her own.
She needs a little help, got nowhere to go.
She's lookin' for a job, lookin' for a way out,
Because a half-way house will never be a home.
At night she whispers to her baby girl,
"Someday we'll find our place here in this world."

"This is our temporary home.
It's not where we belong.
Windows and rooms that we're passin' through.
This is just a stop, on the way to where we're going.
I'm not afraid because I know this is our
Temporary Home."

Old man, hospital bed,
The room is filled with people he loves.
And he whispers don't cry for me,
I'll see you all someday.
He looks up and says, "I can see God's face."

"This is my temporary Home
It's not where I belong.
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through.
This was just a stop, on the way to where I'm going.
I'm not afraid because I know... this was
My temporary home."

This is our temporary home.

Err... I Don't Understand

My mom sent me a link to the below video recently, and out of curiosity I checked it out on YouTube. Thing is, after I was done with it, I had NO CLUE why she sent it to me and was in an even blurer state as to why the video was made!

I mean, I can totally understand if Dato' Siti Nurhaliza had a sudden urge to serenade Datuk K and subsequently make it one of the hits in her latest album. But, it coming from our First Lady, whom I would not even classify as pitch perfect (though she did not sound anywhere near a slaughtered chicken), and (rumour has it) using up a budget that everyone calls tax, is just incomprehensible!

So I did a little more digging, and found out that...

TA-DA!!

Our dear FL actually has an album! It's called Lagenda Cinta. If you think you've got the stomach for it, head on to one of the Malay music shops and pick one up! It might be beyond expectation!

Well, word has it that the video was pulled off air not long after it was released as it resulted in bad publicity for the PM, but as it always is, no one escapes YouTube.  

I don't know who to sympathize more, the husband or wife? I mean, honestly, to me the video was such a cliched publicity stint. Probably one that failed. But oh well, in many things, it's not our right to judge. And I shall probably just hold my pen and give her the benefit of doubt.

Enjoy (or not!) the video!

Intro to T-eeny Town

So, some of you may already know about J and my relocation to T-eeny town. Well, I won't exactly call J's a relocation, coz he's been stuck here for more than 2 years now (still wonder how he's managed to survive it for so long), but for me, things are still pretty much demanding adaptation.

To begin with, T-eeny town is sleepy. Everyone moves around sloooooowleeeeeeee... well, to look on the bright side: -

• There are hardly traffic jams, except for the occassional slower moving traffic at some spots during rush hour.
• People here are just generally friendlier. I guess that comes from the less-stressed factor.
• The furthest drive from point A to point B takes about 20 minutes.
• Labour cost here is really low, and I'm glad to have extra hand with house chores.
• Seafood (my number one love among foods) here is great! 

Hopefully in time I will discover better things about T-eeny town coz so far, other than the above, for a small town: -

• Things here are certainly not cheap, ie: food, household items etc.
• The place is pretty tattered and dirty.
• Internet here is heaps crappy!
• There are bugs everywhere and where J and I work, iguanas are aplenty!
• Security here ain't champion of towns.

Whatever it is,  I've got to learn to live it here. As they say, love knows no bounds. And in my case, I guess it means geographical boundaries, which means no matter what I have to bring my love across the sea into T-eeny town to my dear J.

Anyway, to start things off, J and I had to go furniture shopping, just so that the house would look a little more livable and homely. Just in case I have not mentioned, the house used to be an office downstairs, and J used to sleep upstairs. So when they decided to move the office elsewhere, everything downstairs was taken away.

So since the place is only rented, we had to find a balance between having it furnished to our comfort, but yet not spend excessively as it won't be likely that we bring the furniture with us when we leave. In the end, after countless scouring of furniture malls and shops, we picked certain pieces up and our hall now looks like this:

We spend most of our nights in this area now, as the nights are long (sun starts to set at 5pm) and we have early dinners.

I know the place can be that much cozier, maybe throw in a photo frame or two, or some carpets here and there, but we've decided to just go with the flow and scrimp on that for now. Hopefully, just hopefully, T-eeny town won't be for too long! I miss home and I miss my family.

Why Sunbeams & Moondreams?

As we all know, life's like a theme park.

You have the milder rides like the Ferris wheel and the Carousel, which bring you back to soft and happy memories viewed through lovely tinted glasses; 

Carousel

Ferris Wheel

  
Then you have the roller coaster or free-fall rides, which catapult you into a state of fear or anxiety that you may or may not have known before. 

Roller Coaster

Free Fall

What about the spinning rides like those in teapots or space machines? Which leave your head spinning dizzily and unclear of what's ahead, exactly like what falling in love does to you?

Spin Ride

Teapot Ride

So there you have it, Sunbeams & Moondreams is here to share with you the sunnier side of things, just like the golden beams that shower you each morning; or the more romantic, mysterious and questionable moments of life, when you either see the moon dancing in your sky, or struggle to travel through faintly lit paths.

The world's how we want to view it. And this blog is how I see mine.